Transcript

Diane: A Song of Thanksgiving
Season 1: Episode 2

Carol: 0:10

God indeed is my salvation. I am confident and unafraid. For the Lord is my strength and my might, and he has been my salvation." Isaiah 12 verse 2.

Hello, friends in Christ. Welcome to this episode of the God is Good podcast. I'm Carol O'Brien, and I'm your host for this episode. I'm so humbled to introduce you to a dear sister in Christ. I haven't known Diane long, but it doesn't take long to know that she is beautiful inside and out. I met Diane recently when we served together on an evangelization retreat team. Immediately, I learned that she is kind, dedicated, funny, and all around lovely. I had no idea about the suffering she has known since the moment of her birth.

Before we get into her story, one that she describes as a mini series, I'll give you a little bit of background on Diane. Following 30 years of dedicated service to a university, she retired and now works part time for her church. She also volunteers on retreat teams and in a leadership role to share the Holy Spirit's love with women and men across the state and across the country. She's been married for four years and describes her husband as a gift from our Holy Mother Mary, and she has a wonderful adult son. Please join me in welcoming Diane to the podcast. Hello, beautiful.

Diane: 1:41

Hi, Carol. I'm happy to be here to share my story. Thank you for the invitation.

Carol: 1:46

Oh, I'm so glad you're here. So I said this to you before, but you truly amaze me. Today's topic is one that could be a little difficult for you and maybe even for our listeners. It's so hard to remember that suffering has a really important role in our lives. It reminds us to die to and focus our lives on God. And that's why it's really inspiring to talk to you. You're someone who has embraced your suffering and you allow it to shine outward as God's love. But I'm getting ahead of us, so let's begin. Your life began in trauma. Is that something you can share?

Diane: 2:26

Well, I can share what I was told. And I was told that my mother died giving birth to me and my twin sister. My twin sister did not survive either. I was raised by a cousin. My cousin had two sons and three daughters. And they welcomed me. I am blessed to be part of that family. Unfortunately, my parents that raised me have passed away now. The lady known as my grandmother, had 13 children and she taught them about God and we were to be in church every Sunday. I remember having a relationship with the Lord at a very early age, probably as early as four years old.

Carol: 3:12

That's amazing to have a relationship with God that young. So did you also have a really good, strong relationship with Him into adulthood?

Diane: 3:21

I did. I've always felt His presence. I grew up in a small town, and there were three churches in that town. I would go to their Bible schools, just go, and then as I became a teen, another church in the area had teen retreats and those were called promise, people reaching out ministering and spiritual enrichment. I was involved in that for many years As a teen, I also, helped with our church vacation Bible school. So I was always involved with church and I always felt the Lord's presence and I'm still doing that.

Carol: 3:58

Was there ever a point in your life where you felt far from God?

Diane: 4:02

There was a time when my mom that raised me, when she passed, I was devastated and I was sad for like two years. I was a bit angry with the Lord that she passed because I felt like she was my link to my biological family. I loved her so much and I was very sad for a couple of years. I prayed to the Lord to not let her die. And so I was, I would say mad at the Lord and I let Him know. I'm like, you know, I'm really upset with you. And, so I didn't go to church for a spell. I was hurting so much and I just pushed away for a little bit. And then I just, thought what are you doing? He's going to get me through this. What are you doing?

Carol: 4:50

That's so hard, especially given how hard you were praying and wanting something so badly from God, and you were wondering why he hadn't intervened or answered you in the way that you wanted him to answer. What did you do from there?

Diane: 5:04

I was in my late 20s when she passed, I may have been turning 30. I moved and landed at St. Louis because they had a young adult singles group.

Carol: 5:17

And did you meet your first husband in that group or was it somewhere else?

Diane: 5:21

No, he and I had dated for six years off and on. He was from back home. We married when we were 25. His family was Baptist, and so he went through RCIA and became Catholic, and we had a Catholic wedding. We had one child, my son, and unfortunately I had a couple of miscarriages. We were married for 20 years. But I had a secret about my husband. He had an addictive gene. He had many addictions, and I discovered these a few years in the marriage. I didn't share that with my parents or my siblings. My parents were already deceased when my spouse and I separated. Going through a divorce is the hardest thing I ever went through. I prayed about it. I talked to six different priests about it. I was devastated that our marriage got to that.

Carol: 6:23

Wow, making that decision even as you were still loving this person must have been really difficult.

Diane: 6:29

It was. I had to protect my son. I didn't want my son to see us and think that's what a marriage looks like. And it was very hard to do. Like I said, 20 years. I mean, he would be off and on the wagon through those 20 years. And I just thought one day that he would just stop it or seek the help he needed. And it didn't happen.

Carol: 6:58

I know with some addictive personalities that things are really good and then they're really bad and then they can be really good again. And so you go through the bad parts and get to a high point where things are really good. And you're thinking, Okay, Now we've made it. We've made it through the hard part, and then it happens again.

Diane: 7:17

Even more... He was diagnosed with an autoimmune disorder. And, the doctor told him he would have to change his lifestyle. Like his eating habits, exercise, the whole bit. And he was devastated and turned toward his addictions. He just really spiraled downward, and I tried to help him every way I could and he just was not trying to help himself. I had to save my son and save myself too, my sanity. I just thought my son cannot be without both of his parents. So we separated for a year and then we divorced. And a divorce is like a death. It was just terrible.

Carol: 8:05

Where was God throughout these trials for you? Was he close?

Diane: 8:09

Right there. He was. And I was looking in my journals because I had written down those like I asked for this and he showed me, but one night I was feeling so low and I was in my bedroom going to sleep and I like my bedroom really dark and the bathroom door was open a little bit. Then it got real bright in my bathroom and I was looking over like, why is it so bright in there? So I got up and I went and the blinds were opened a little bit and through the blinds I could see the moon and there was this cross. The cross was just coming through the bathroom. And I was like, Hi, Lord. Thank you. I needed you. I needed to feel you and see you too. It was just so bright in there and I knew it was Him. It was Him. And so I lay back down and I'm just smiling and beaming. I'm like, the Lord just visited me. And I turned back over to look toward the bathroom and it was dark.

Carol: 9:11

This is why you amaze me so much. I mean, even in one of the darkest parts of your life, you're still seeing God everywhere. And I love that your scripture is Isaiah chapter 12, because that's a song of Thanksgiving. And you went through some traumas already, up to this point in your life. And not to give it away, but I know you had some more traumas.

Diane: 9:34

Yeah. Four years after the divorce, my ex husband, wasn't taking care of his autoimmune disorder. He ended up in the hospital. He was in the hospital for two weeks and I was with him there. He died. And it was hard. I had to pick up the pieces for my son. My son was 16 at the time. And, I had to plan his funeral. I had a rosary for him and the mass. That was hard. So not only that I go through a death with our divorce, here I was all back again with his death. You know, this is not what I thought my life would end up. I wanted to give my son what I didn't have, a biological mom and dad, a happy home. And I failed. I failed him miserably. I could only pray to the Lord to carry me and help me. To hold my head up high and reassure me so I could reassure my son that we would be okay. My son and I had a rocky relationship and it's better now, but I know he still needs healings. So do I.

Carol: 10:59

And so now, turning to some more happy times in your life, it's been a bit of time now. Can you tell us about this new person in your life?

Diane: 11:09

Yes. I knew I didn't want to be alone. You know, I entered life on earth, to me, alone in a tragic story. So I knew I didn't want to be alone. And, I got on those apps, those dating apps. And I said, okay, this is not for me. I said, okay, mother Mary, I need a good man. Well, Mary interceded and she asked the Lord to send me a good man. And, I met my neighbor's buddy-- 50 years of age, never married, no children, but not Catholic. God has a sense of humor. We began to talk and he told me that he believed in the Lord, but he did not believe in organized religion. I felt like this man was yearning for something and I knew it was the Lord. So I thought, okay, Lord, you want me to evangelize him. Right? I see he's yearning for you. And we were friends at first. I would invite him to church each Sunday and he would decline. I told him in order for us to continue to get closer that my Catholic faith was extremely important and part of my life. He respected that. He started to come to church with me. He took RCIA classes and he was like a sponge, just absorbing it all. He ended up proposing to me three and a half years and we had a Catholic COVID wedding.

Carol: 12:50

Well, that's so great! So, what is different in this relationship than in your first marriage?

Diane: 12:56

Well, this relationship, or just this man, he just, he's on fire. He loves the Lord. It just tickles me. He's just a miracle. Here I am, dating this man that doesn't believe in organized religion, wasn't raised going to church. And here he is. He's in a lot of ministries on his own. He's a Eucharistic minister. We pray the rosary every night before we go to bed. And he's just on fire. He went to an ACTS retreat and I could just see the love of the Lord in him. It just tickles me sometimes.

Carol: 13:41

So now that you have this wonderful relationship, a growing and changing relationship with your son, everything's perfect in your life, right? Your whole life is perfect?

Diane: 13:52

Well. As much as we would like it to be, and then, things happen. In 2022, he had a hiatal hernia repair. Minor surgery. He'd been having problems with acid reflux and GERD. Well, there was complications. The hospital put dye down his lungs. Almost killed him. He ended up in the ICU for 53 days, on a ventilator, in a coma, fighting for his life. The doctors were trying to help him, but couldn't really help him. He just was not responding. But, the power of prayer-- I was praying over him every day. I was praying the Divine Mercy over him. I was putting holy water on him. The priest in the hospital was coming by every day and we were praying over him. He had the anointing of the sick from our priest at our church. I contacted the church community to pray for him. Everyone was praying for him. I was pleading with God not to take him away. I'm like, this is a gift that you gave me, Lord. I reached out to everybody I knew across the world to pray for him. I had friends visiting the Vatican and they did mass intentions for him there and that brought the church community together. Everybody was praying for him.

Carol: 15:17

And then what happened?

Diane: 15:19

On Easter weekend, 53 days later, like Lazarus, he wakes up. He just wakes up.

Carol: 15:27

Wow, did the doctors have any explanation? Did they know what happened?

Diane: 15:31

No.

Carol: 15:32

That's amazing. God is so good. And so you went through that miracle and now everything's perfect.

Diane: 15:40

It was wonderful. But then, in June, I found out I had a mass in my right breast. So I have a gene, called CHECK2 marker, that makes me a higher risk of breast cancer. So I've been getting Mammograms and MRIs every year and sure enough in June, a mass was detected in the MRI on my right breast. And it is a rare cancer. So I had a double mastectomy in August of last year. And I currently go to MD Anderson quarterly to get scanned. Thank God so far there's no sign of any cancer. But again, I give thanks to the Lord for early detection.

Carol: 16:27

Even one of those traumas would be enough to shake a lot of people's faith. So it's so amazing to see how close God has been in your life right from the start and how he's walked by your side through everything. Let me reread your favorite scripture. It's the one we opened with Isaiah 12 verse two. God indeed is my salvation. I am confident and unafraid for the Lord is my strength and my might and has been my salvation. Amen. It's an absolute testimony to your faith and love that this is your scripture. Isaiah 12, as I mentioned earlier, is referred to as one of the songs of thanksgiving. Thank you for sharing, Diane. In all our lives, there are times when things are so painful and so hard that it would be easy to turn inward and sink deep into self pity. But you turned your suffering into service. In the midst of your pain, you sought out God. As St. Teresa of Calcutta said of suffering,"You know this is but the kiss of Jesus. A sign that you have come so close to Him on the cross that He can kiss you." By sharing your story, Diane, I hope that our listeners will become more confident and unafraid and rely on God's strength and might in their own lives. Thank you again, Diane.

Diane: 17:48

Thank you, Carol for allowing me to share my story.

Carol: 17:51

And thank you to all of our listeners for following, liking, and sharing this podcast. The spiritual retreat mentioned in this podcast is the ACTS retreat. That's A C T S from ACTS Missions in San Antonio, Texas. We'll share more information about it in the comments and on our website. Stay tuned for our next episode, friends, and remember that God is good.

Diane: 18:18

All the time.